End of an epoch and start of another

Somber notice here:

My mother passed away exactly seven months ago today.

Recalling my last conversation with my mother- things were in chaotic state in the house as we were preparing for camping next day. Living space was all heaped up with camping equipment. I felt the prompting to call my mother on videophone. My mother answered my VP call immediately, much to my pleasant surprise. We talked and I told of my situation and I felt the prompting to call her. I did it despite the fact how stressed out I felt about preparation for camping and how I needed to get ready for our departure next day. We talked. Mother, all the sudden, told me to pay close attention- she then reminded me of my charge in this earthly life which is being wife and mother. How I have to focus my life in raising my children righteously and don't forget our major focus- which is bringing around the ultimate goal of Heavenly Father- eternal life and eternal family. I was surprised by this. I guess because she knows how capable I am and how focused I can be. I love my children dearly and want the best for them. I chose to stay home to do that. I decided to choose that day not to be offended (I never really had issue of being offended to begin with) and listen to my mother. I told her frankly that I knew that and I appreciated the truth of it. I told her that I love her so much (kissing ILY hand blowing it down to her directly).

In a week and half, mother was conferred into hospital and wheeled into surgery room. Within matter of three days, she died. We, the sisters, brought airfares on Thursday and flew out- arrived late night. We listened to dismal predictions from doctors and realize the severity of situation. We cried. Next day, we were told that mother is brain dead and realized that the situation is final. We pulled life support machine off and watched her die.

To understand how difficult it is for people to unplug life support machine on loved ones, you have to experience it yourself. It is the most incredibly difficult thing you would ever have to do . . .

I came out of this, realizing that there's an ending of an epoch in my life . . . My mother have lived for only twenty years after death of my father- and I, along with my sisters, will have to go on and carry this ultimate focus as my mother have charged me with. I did come to an understanding of how spiritually significant that last conversation I had with my mother was now. It recalled me to the story of Lehi on his deathbed giving his sons charges . . . And Israel giving his sons blessings. As how spiritual we all are- we are motivated to give our next generations that major charge in carrying on the work of God as we depart into next life. Our earthly task ends as our life ends here.

An new epoch begins . . . We will have to learn how to live in different sort of life without parents. We will have to learn how to carry on and focus on our next generation . . . bittersweetly.

The Spiritual Touch

A spiritual flash of insight here:

I was listening to lesson given in Relief Society on topic, "Sacrament" from Gospel Principle.

Teacher gave a loaded question: "How is Sacrament necessary for our Spiritual Growth?"

I did think about about it and realized the connection of my learning experience on the importance of touch. In intimate conversation between my sister, me, and my close friend, we talked about it and Susan mentioned to us that she learned from her mother in law about how humans need a minimum of eight touches per day. I recall how I read some concepts from "And They Were Not Ashamed" book talking about importance of being touched through a story of "Cipher in Snow" - a boy who died because of lack of touches/communication. The author pointed the comparison of touches in different cultures. I did think of stories how preemies thrived the best and left ICU soonest if the parents participated in technique known as "kangaroo Hold": holding small babies, using skin to skin contact. Another instance was how children in orphanages usually face late milestone development due to minimum amount of attention/touches compared to children being raised in loving environment. Therefore, we need to have physical touch (loving type) to survive.
I did think of how we need our spiritual touches with Heavenly Father in order to thrive.
Heavenly Father always is available but we need to be the ones to make that move. That is what faith means. And as we reach out, we make the connection. Through connection, are our spirits able to grow.
I came to understanding that through sacrament, we obtain the opportunity to do that. We need scripture studies, prayers, and may great other things that pull us toward to the Heavenly Father and move our spirits to reach out and touch. Without that would our spirits wither and die.